I had an odd summer this year, odd because i didn't allow myself to enjoy it as i should have. odd also because right on the heels of writing about depression and T* people, i fell into a major depressive episode. Life, it seems is a witty MF sometimes.
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Life BitchSlapped Me |
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I tended to get over focused on the mundane routine, only leaving my abode to do things that really didn't impact my life. i did my work, i came home, i shopped, i came home... too damn normal. And i didn't realize it at the time, i wasn't happy. the meds dulled me to a point that i functioned. nothing more.
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Functional Moongoddess, Less Than Fab. |
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I withdrew in my private time... books were losing meaning and TV... well... moments of laughter, faded quickly. it wasn't till august that i noticed how deep the pit was, AH! but... i found a grouping of stories... well yes, T* stories, but superheroes! Hooray!... i can write something for this genre, i'm a geekette and a writer... all of a sudden... i'm writing again... fiction and branching out into original fiction (yes T*) but well received...?! OK... WTF? the main thing is, i began to feel again (barf, Cliche)... mostly anger at first.
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ARRRRGH... Must Smash Stupidity! |
Lately i have found a slight balance, but the reason i write today, is as a warning and case study... even if you are aware of your own tendency toward depression, you must be alert to it's warnings... learn your cues and your triggers. I was lucky this time because of a lot of people talking to me and talking me down, but until you have looked at a bottle of anti depressants and wondered if you could OD on them. I was Lucky.
I hope that my blathering on can help others.
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A bit wiser, a lot happier. |
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Love to you all, take care of yourselves!
Diana
glad your back, happy your ok. hopefully everything comes out for the best.
ReplyDeleteGreat to see you back, with good writing and bold honesty, as before.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, honey! x
Thank you Mistress Simone, Deborah... It is a wild ride as always between HRT and Depression... I hope i can help a few people with whatever small insights that i have.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Diana