Saturday, October 29, 2011

Sorry i was away

I had an odd summer this year, odd because i didn't allow myself to enjoy it as i should have. odd also because right on the heels of writing about depression and T* people, i fell into a major depressive episode. Life, it seems is a witty MF sometimes.
Life BitchSlapped Me

I tended to get over focused on the mundane routine, only leaving my abode to do things that really didn't impact my life. i did my work, i came home, i shopped, i came home... too damn normal. And i didn't realize it at the time, i wasn't happy. the meds dulled me to a point that i functioned.  nothing more.

Functional Moongoddess, Less Than Fab.

I withdrew in my private time... books were losing meaning and TV... well... moments of laughter, faded quickly. it wasn't till august that i noticed how deep the pit was, AH! but... i found a grouping of stories... well yes, T* stories, but superheroes! Hooray!... i can write something for this genre, i'm a geekette and a writer... all of a sudden... i'm writing again... fiction and branching out into original fiction (yes T*) but well received...?! OK... WTF? the main thing is, i began to feel again (barf, Cliche)... mostly anger at first.

ARRRRGH... Must Smash Stupidity!
Lately i have found a slight balance, but the reason i write today, is as a warning and case study... even if you are aware of your own tendency toward depression, you must be alert to it's warnings... learn your cues and your triggers. I was lucky this time because of a lot of people talking to me and talking me down, but until you have looked at a bottle of anti depressants and wondered if you could OD on them. I was Lucky.
I hope that my blathering on can help others.

A bit wiser, a lot happier.

Love to you all, take care of yourselves!